I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
