You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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