you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
