This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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