he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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