I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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