Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
