You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
