He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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