The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
