yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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