I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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