why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
