Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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