I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
