do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
