Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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