If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She said her name was "party"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
