her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
