she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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