I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize