Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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