no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think your dad took our porno
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
