dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
