i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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