You smell like a Billy Joel song
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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