you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
