in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
