Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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