how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize