Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize