Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize