I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
