Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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