You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
