he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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