Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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