atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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