So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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