so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
