Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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