I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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