Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
