Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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