what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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