dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
