I accidentally had phone sex last night
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
how drunk are you?
Several
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
