STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
