I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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