Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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