So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
