The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
