Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry about my life...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
