the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
