so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just pee around me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
