i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
