hotel room ftw
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
