I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He has the fingertips of a God
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
