you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
