she looked like the before picture.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
