so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
