If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
