I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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