What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
