I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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