): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
