You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
