she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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