would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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