I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
